I feel like I am constantly on some sort of diet. I know that I am not always under my calories. I know that I don't always exercise like I should. But if you compare my eating habits now to how they were even just a year ago, it's like night and day. I used to eat fast food every day. I used to eat enough at dinner for 2 meals. I could easily eat an entire bag of chips. I didn't care. Which is how I got to 260lbs.
And now, while I am down a little bit of weight, I can't help but get upset about the fact that my hard work isn't showing itself. A scale is only so much. It's just a number. It could tell me that I weigh 150lbs, but if I can't physically see it, then it only means so much. I have never had the satisfaction of seeing my clothes fit better. They only ever fit worse. If something in my closet doesn't fit me, it's not because it's too big, it's because it's too small. I just want to see a change in my body. It's so hard to stay motivated when you aren't seeing anything. I know it takes time. I know that on my 250lb body, it's gonna take a bit of weight to actually see the loss. But damnit, I need SOMETHING to keep me motivated. My running isn't going anywhere. I can't even run 5 minutes, and I've been running since February. I'm having such a hard time trying to find a happy medium, between what works, and what makes me happy. Cutting out everything I love isn't going to make me happy, and that's often what it feels like I have to do to make me lose weight, and see progress. And honestly, I'd rather be fat and happy then skinny and miserable. I feel so stuck.
I don't want anyone to think that I'm going to give up, because I'm not. I'm just saying, it's been 6 months and I haven't physically seen any sort of change in my body, and that is so incredibly frustrating. I just want it to be my turn to be proud. Because that is something that I never get to be.
Hang in there. If something's not working for you, try something different. Experiment with different eating techniques and different exercises. Make sure you are honest wih yourself about what you eat and what you do. I used to tend not to write down something if it was going to put me over on calories, but my body keeps record of it regardless of whether or not I wrote it down.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't like running, don't run! Find and exercise you enjoy and do that!
You will get there!
You will get there. Look at all the healthy changes you have made in your life. That is something to be very proud of. I agree with Carrie Ann. There are lots of great high-calorie burning exercises that may be more fun like Zumba, spinning, etc. Mixing it up is always good.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to keep running. I would try either the run/walk method or add a little bit more to each run. If you know you ran for 4 mins yesterday, why not push for 15 more seconds the next time and so on. Making it seem manageable is half the battle.
I felt just like this all last week. It was very hard for me not to give up but I got a pep talk from my husband. I firmly believe in splurges. Not a whole meal or really out of control but if you want some chocolate maybe have one square from a Hershey bar or go to a frozen yogurt place and get the chocolate. It tastes really good. My step mom does the Nutrisystem and counted up all the calories for one day. She gets a total of 710 a day.
ReplyDeleteHer mom is a nurse and had told us before that you can mix up your calorie intake like you do with exercise. Your body gets used to a number or exercise and doesn't do as good as when you first started. She suggested dropping a few hundred calories for two weeks just to get it kick started again like you would after your body gets used to a workout.
:-( *hugs*
ReplyDeleteSeeing your weigh-ins, you should definitely be proud of what you have done so far. Sometimes it's hard to see our own progress. Just keep up what your doing and don't lose the drive, and you will see even better results to be proud of! I just started my own fitness blog and would really appreciate you checking it out. I need followers to help stay motivated to keep up the blog, and your story is so inspirational! My blog is www.imperfectventure.com Thanks so much!
ReplyDelete