Today, I went shopping, which is something I rarely do. I hate spending money on myself, because I feel guilty. I feel like I should be spending money on something that Cody and I can do together, instead of something that is just for me. Anyway, I went to Maurices to shop for jeans. I've never been there before, because I was always under the impression that they didn't have plus size clothes. I generally get my jeans from Old Navy, just because I know they have my size, I know how they fit, and they aren't stupid expensive. So, I wanted to try them on and see how they fit. I generally wear an 18/20 in Old Navy pants. I looked at the 18 at Maurices, and they just looked way too small, so I got the size 20 and tried them on. They fit everywhere great, except in the waist. So, I got a 22. It almost killed me to get a size 22, because not long ago, I was fitting into a 16/18, so the fact that I was going to be in a 22 did not make me happy. Luckily, the size 22 was a bit big, so I didn't buy any jeans today.
I did, however, buy some bras. I went to Lane Bryant, because I am in desperate need for a good bra, and I have only gotten cheap ones from Target. I used to be a 38B, but I gained weight, and I have turned into a 40C. Well, today at Lane Bryant, I tried on a bra....and the 40C was too small. I had to go up to a 42C. In my mind, I keep telling myself that it's just because it's a different brand than I'm used to, when I know that it's probably just because I've gained more weight than I like to admit.
I let myself slide
I know that most people who are successful have something that happens - one monumental moment - where they say "thats it, I'm changing my life and I'm doing it for real this time". I feel like I should have had many of those moments, but instead, I say "I'm doing it for real.....oh a cheeseburger!". I need to figure out how to get myself to really feel like I want nothing more than to lose weight. I need to figure out how to make my love of food stop keeping me from my desire to be thin, fit, and healthy.
Don't bring yourself down. We all have those moments...well in better words we fail. I have done it so many times. Last year I lost 30lbs and then I slowed down this year.
ReplyDeleteI think for me it is Yucky food makes me feel yucky. I love seeing the change, it takes the notch down in the belt for me to be like yeah this is working and maybe the burn everyday after working out. Also for me I have motivated a lot of people and tons of people are their to support me. Maybe you need to join a group or find people that are willing to help. Know I know this is hard I have had tons of people willing to help and then they give up. Ugh...just put it in your head you really want this. Change is essential, just has to come from inside :)
Hope this Helps. :) You can do it :)
Steph
This post could not have come at a better time; I have been feeling the EXACT same way. I can't get the motivation to do anything right. Sure, I make it to the gym, but it's usually all half-assed. And my eating is out of control.
ReplyDeleteYou have tangible goals, and that's what I would have suggested to help you beat this. And they seem very realistic. I don't have any other words of wisdom, but I can offer encouragement: we can do this!
I could have written this post! I struggle in the same ways. I read the Beck Diet Solution and Beck Diet for Life this summer- it deals with the mental/emotional aspect of losing weight- you can follow WW or whatever eating plan you wish. I just track food on My Fitness Pal and am walking/jogging following C25K a few times a week. I've read so many plans/books but my issue has never been lack of information about what to eat, it's being able to make decisions and not obsess over food. A lot in those books really resonated with me, and although I don't follow their plan exactly, it is a great start and helps me refocus. I'm down 25 lbs, it's a slooow and very hard process, but I'm finally moving in the right direction.
ReplyDelete