Does anyone else feel this way? cuz I know I do!
I mentioned in the last post that I would write a post about why I have issues with logging my food, and since I don't have a workout to write about today, I will complain tell you about why I hate logging my food.
If you've looked around my blog at all, you know that my husband is a chef. Since we met and started dating 3 years ago, I have gained about 60lbs. I was hovering just over 200lbs when we met, and now I'm at 260. They say that when you are comfortable in a relationship, you are more likely to gain weight, and I honestly believe that, especially when you are in a relationship with my husband. A lot of our dates were/are going to restaurants, or are based around different places we can eat, just because we are both foodies.
My issue with logging food doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I hate logging. I don't mind logging, I think it's kind of like a game. The problem that I have, is that I constantly feel restricted.
Last night, for instance, was my first day of logging again. I did great all day, and after logging my dinner I had about 250 calories left. I was STARVING. And I was at work. Typically, I'd grab a bag of baked chips, or pretzels or something, but I really wanted ice cream. So, I could eat my chips and be satisfied, and not get the ice cream (or end up eating it, which is likely what I'd end up doing and go over my calories), or I could stay hungry, get grumpy, and eat my ice cream. I know that I sound like a whiny baby. And that these are the type of choices you need to make in order to live a healthy lifestyle.
But I'm bitter about the fact that I have to. That I have to count each calorie that goes in my mouth in order to be healthy. Besides being overweight, I'm healthy. My blood pressure is fine, my blood sugar is fine, I don't have high cholesterol. I know that could change one day and if I keep eating how I'm eating, I could find myself very unhealthy one day. But I hate that I feel guilty every time I go over. My husband and I are going to be in Chicago on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday for this HUGE food show. There is a ton of samples, and great food. Plus, it's chicago, so there are also all kinds of great restaurants. Because I'm watching my calories, I'm going to feel guilty every time I eat any sample. I know calories can add up quickly when doing samples, but this is a once a year event and I don't want to miss out. I am struggling with trying to balance having a good, fun life and enjoying the industry that my husband and I chose to be in, with being healthy and losing weight.
Am I alone in feeling this way?
You aren't alone in this, by any means! Somedays are definitely harder than others. I have gone weeks without staying within range before, but the way I made up for it was through exercise. If I wanted to eat dinner at the cheesecake factory, I just made sure to exercise a little harder or longer that week. This is something that I need to get back in to, myself. It did seem to work well!
ReplyDeleteI know EXACTLY how you feel! I struggle so much with balance! I'm trying to break free from that all or nothing mentality, but it can be hard!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel too! I read French Women Don't Get Fat (and while it was no huge revelation there were some good parts). I will always remember the following quote: "If we deny ourselves something, it is not to teach our greedy selves a lesson (self punishment is never the path to well being). The only purpose of witholding some pleasure is so we can fully enjoy something else for having it in proper balance." That's what I think about now... I am simply witholding one pleasure to gain another.
ReplyDeleteI totally feel your pain... one of the things that helps me get through the times when I want to eat a bunch of "naughty food" (as I like to call it) is thinking about all the hard work I put into training (just completed my second half marathon). There were so many days that I pushed myself to make it through a workout, and yet a couple days taken off of logging my food and I gain 5 pounds! I can't bear the thought of all that hard work lost on a couple of stupid cookies, french fries, what have you.
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